


Eastwatch and a Bastard's Thoughts

by OneFail_AtATime



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, Episode: s07e05 Eastwatch, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 10:52:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17424500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneFail_AtATime/pseuds/OneFail_AtATime
Summary: After facing Thoros and Beric in the Eastwatch cells, Gendry lets a few things slip in his frustration.





	Eastwatch and a Bastard's Thoughts

_Unbelievable._

Gendry was still fuming by the time their group had made their way up from Eastwatch’s dungeon cells to the dining hall with Davos and Jon. The redheaded Wilding was assembling a team to join theirs and they would be leaving at first light. He knew that every moment between then would be unbearable because of the way Thoros grinned at him each time he managed to look in his and Beric’s direction, contemplating just how useful the two could be and if there was any way they could disappear without Jon or Davos noticing.

_They sold me like cattle._

His anger would threaten to get the best of him and so, rather than say what he really wanted, he turned to find a quiet place where he could sit and drink on his own. It wasn’t until Davos and Jon both approached that he realized he would have to play nice with the men how had sold him off to the Red Priestess.

“Davos told me about what Melisandre did to you when you were Stannis’ prisoner.” Jon started, hoping to break through Gendry’s icy anger. There was something about the Baratheon lad’s temper that he couldn’t quite place. It reminded him of someone.

Gendry scoffed in return. “The blood of kings, she said. There’s no way of knowing what hells she caused because of her god and his blood magic.”

_Except a part of him did know. He had heard the names that the Red Woman had whispered into the fire as leeches filled with king’s blood, **his** blood, had burned in the flames. He had heard Robb Stark’s name spoken, calling his death into the universe. _

_And he knew the name of those who had died with him. He knew her name._

Jon was silent. Gendry knew he was recalling his own experiences with the woman. Davos, however, was determined to make sure Gendry had his mind in the right place now that he was determined to go beyond the Wall. He leaned across the table. “You’ll be okay traveling with them, son?”

The young Baratheon’s eyes grew dark as he looked to the far table where both Thoros and Beric were sitting side by side. He muttered a response.

_They’d be dead if they weren’t helping Jon. They’d die at my hands for the death that they brought to her. The death that had come for her because of their greed for gold._

“Come on, you’ll want to eat something. It could be your last warm meal in who knows how long.” Davos urged him, nodding towards where the men were eating. Gendry remained silent as he followed the two back over to their newly formed group.

Beric spoke first. “I think we owe you a proper apology, boy.” The one-eyed man began as soon as Gendry sat down and accepted the bowl of stew from Davos.

That was it. That was all it took to send him over the edge.

It all came boiling over like a pot that had been left over the fire for too long. “An apology? You think you can get away with just an apology? You don’t know what I went through! I was just another ransom to you all, wasn’t I? That’s all your damned Brotherhood did. You held us captive and you sold us to the highest bidder.” He slammed his fists down against the rough wood of the table. “Did you _ever_ stop to think what you were taking me away from? Who you were splitting up? You know I could never have really left her. She needed me. I needed her!” Gendry fumed, fighting the pain that made his chest feel like it could break into a thousand tiny pieces when he thought about what he had gone so long without.

He had gone so long without her.

“Oi, what are you going on about?” Clegane muttered as he chewed through a crust of bread.

“He’s going on about his lady love.” Thoros teased, taking another drink from his flask as he ignored the anger behind Gendry’s emotional outburst.

Gendry’s face grew red and he started to sputter when he realized just who exactly was in the hall with him. _Her brother_. “I-I never-, we never-, we were _children_.”

“And children can’t fall in love?” Beric asked honestly.

 _Children. We were **children**_.

“What this about a lady friend?” Tormund asked, always interested as soon as a woman was mentioned. “This one has a woman?”

“A feisty little woman.” Thoros said with a _bloody twinkle_ in his eye.

“Stop.” Gendry glared, not wanting the conversation to go any further.

He couldn’t let it go any further. He couldn’t allow those memories to return. _Not her. She didn’t deserve it. She deserved so much more. So much more than me._

The Hound snorted. “What? You afraid that her king brother will find out that you spent years traveling with his lady sister?”

Jon’s head turned so fast that Gendry heard a crack. “Sansa? You know Sansa?”

Another snort escaped the Hound. “No, that wolf girl, _Arya_ , is the one he was traveling with.” Clegane explained, his sympathy for the boy nonexistent. “When these two,” he gestured to Thoros and Beric, “took me hostage with their damned Brotherhood, I found the boy and your sister with ‘em. The two had been traveling for a good bit of time.”

The King in the North was staring at Gendry with a demanding glare. “Is this true?” He demanded, his hands clenching into fists.

Gendry stood and pushed away his uneaten food. He couldn’t meet Jon’s gaze.

“What does it matter now? She died at the Twins with your other brother. So what does any of it matter?”

And before anyone else could say a word, he disappeared from the hall.

…        …        …

The night was striking cold and brought with it bitter memories of shivering in the darkness of Harrenhall. Gendry pulled the furs tighter around him as he stared out into the black night that surrounded every inch of the wall. He was justified in his anger towards the Brotherhood but he should have reigned in his temper. There had been a reason he hadn’t told the King in the North about Arya. He couldn’t face the pain of his memories or where the conversation would knowingly lead, to how the Brotherhood had ransomed her back at Riverrun and she had died alongside her brother and mother at the Red Wedding.

 _I’m so sorry, Arya._ He thought into the wind, praying that his apology would somehow find her.

The sound of snow crunching brought him back to reality but Gendry refused to turn away from where he was staring into the dark abyss.

“Davos or Snow” was all he had to say.

“Were you going to tell me?” Jon asked as he moved to stand beside his new friend.

Gendry sighed but his focus into the night remained. “Perhaps. Maybe when we were all north of the wall and near our deaths.”

_Because I could only talk about her death after coming so close to my own._

“Only then?” Jon joked. He had finally come to understand the blacksmith. “You introduced yourself as Robert Baratheon’s son. I trusted you because of the relationship between our fathers but if you knew my sister …”

“We were separated when the Brotherhood sold me. The last I saw of Arya, she was watching me be hauled away, chained and in the back of a wagon. Then Davos told me about the Freys murdering your brother and his army at the Red Wedding. I knew the Brotherhood meant to ransom her back.” Gendry’s voice broke. “I didn’t want to tell you that I _failed_ her. I didn’t want to talk about her, about her _death_. Would you?”

Jon laughed, causing Gendry to finally look away from the night. He stared at the king standing and laughing next to him.

“Gendry, Arya’s _alive_. A raven from Winterfell came to Dragonstone, before you and Davos returned with Tyrion. She’s _alive_ and she’s _home_.”

Gendry’s blue eyes were as wide as saucers. His tongue was tied with shock and awe.

_No. It couldn’t. She couldn’t. Could she-_

“ _Alive?_ ” His voice had softened. A strangled laugh escaped him as he let out a heavy sigh, his body visibly relaxing at the news as if a heavy weight had been taken from his shoulders. “She _would_ be the one to survive. She was- _is_ the strongest person I know.”

“Aye,” said Jon with a chuckle. “That she is.”

The two men stood in silence as the winter winds whipped back and forth in the night air. Finally, Jon turned back to the man who was quickly becoming a close friend. “When this suicide mission is over and we’ve met with that psychotic queen in the South, we’ll go back to Winterfell. We’ll go back to Arya.”

_Back to Arya …_

Gendry couldn’t have stopped himself from smiling even if he had a blade held to his throat.

“But, if she doesn’t want you there …”

“You wouldn’t have to send me away, Snow.” Gendry assured him. “If Arya doesn’t want me there then she’ll remove me herself.”

Jon nodded in agreement. “She’ll probably remove your head from your shoulders.”

“Aye,” Gendry said with a chuckle as his blue eyes clouded with memories of fiery temper and a rough spirit. “Aye that she would.”

**Author's Note:**

> It still irks me that Arya wasn't mentioned AT ALL between those two so I had to try and write something to make up for that. I hope you all enjoyed it! Thoughts and comments are always welcome!


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